Holding it Together

My 6 year old has had a great week at school. He has had so many wonderful things to say about everything. However, after he's been home for not even 30 minutes, he just falls apart. This has been coming out in a variety of ways: crying, yelling, arguing, and even hitting. My first inclination is to wonder if this is happening at school, but I've been teaching long enough to know that it is most likely not. Children save these outbursts for those they trust and know will love them unconditionally (their parents!).

These first few weeks of school are challenging for families and teachers. Of course there is much excitement for the newness of it all, but our children are working hard everyday when they are away from us. They're working hard learning the routine and schedule, getting acquainted with old and new classmates, getting to know their teachers, and simply readjusting to more time away from home. One of the biggest things that they are doing is trying to hold it together.

Have you ever picked your child up from preschool or day care and they cried almost instantly when they saw you? You question if they have been like this all day, but the teacher assures you their day was great. Their day was great! However, when they fell earlier they wanted to cry, but held it in because they really wanted to keep playing with the other kids. When they started to miss you, they worked really hard to think of other things so they wouldn't cry. They had much success with that, but it has to be a lot of work to do that. I am sure we can all relate to some extent. Imagine trying to get through your work day when you are worried about something, but really need to focus on work. It often isn't until you see someone you really trust and care about that you let down your true feelings.

Maybe if we all would let our feelings out as we feel them we might not have such a struggle trying to get through our days. It's possible though that we may not simply get through half the things we need to if we let ourselves do this. I do think it is natural to want to learn when to pull it together and when to let it out. Our children are learning this as they go as well....whether it's easy on them or not.

As hard as it is to find patience in these times with our kids, I am trying really hard to keep it in perspective. It will get better (3 weeks usually for a transition like this). I know what my son needs from me more than anything is to be patient, loving, and understanding in this time. I think it's important to think back to how it felt to be a kid and how these first few weeks felt to us when we were working so hard to hold it together. We'll all survive and get through this and live it all over again next fall!