Feeling Big

One of the things I mention in some of my classes is the idea that many children tend to feel so small in this adult world we live in. One of my goals as an educator is to help find ways for children to feel "big" (and to help parents and teachers find ways for their children to feel "big"). One of the reasons I love teaching at The Children's Farm is because of all the opportunities the children have to feel this way.

I had the most amazing afternoon today as I was teaching one of my parent-child classes at The Children's Farm School. The children and their parents had the choice to climb to the hayloft to play if they wanted to. The ladder is wooden, attached to the wall, and completely vertical. It is a true challenge! Some children approach this with little hesitation and others are a little leery. They don't have to climb up if they don't want to, but it is not a choice for their parent or me to carry them up this ladder. So, if they want to play up there, they have to climb.

There was one child today that was pretty scared. His mom went up first so she "could check it out for him". His small body shook as he took each step. I guided his feet and then his hands, but really made sure he was doing the work. At times he would pause. Many times in moments like this it is easy to assume this is signaling that the child needs help. However, when I would wait it became obvious that that was not the case at all. The child was simply trying to think and process where his foot would go next. Usually their brains have a good sense of how to do this, it's just allowing them the time to make those connections and helping them feel safe enough for their body to focus. At one point the boy said "No thank you" trying to tell me that he didn't want to climb anymore. I asked him if he wanted to go up and he said yes. I showed him that he didn't have much farther to go and that if wanted to go up he needed to climb. I of course also reminded him that he was safe...showed him that I was there if he needed it, but that he was doing it himself.

The boy continued to shake as he took his last two climbs to get to the top. He still was pretty nervous as he got to the top and had to figure out how to pull himself through the last wrung to stand up. His mom and I let him figure this out. The best moment of the day though was when he stood up and a smile came over his face: a genuine smile of "I did it!" He didn't say these words, but I know he was thinking it. I purposely did not praise him for his climbing. This was his moment and I didn't want to take that away from him (please check out my class on Praise Versus Encouragement if you want to Learn more about this topic). Some of the scariest moments in life are the ones that feel the best once we overcome them. This little boy felt pretty great at that moment. I can't help but wonder how that must have carried over to the rest of his time in my class and then when he went home.

I had many more moments like this today as other children climbed up into the hayloft and then down from the hayloft and then as they all climbed over a gate to go on a hike. I could have opened the gate for the hike, but I knew climbing over the gate would be one more way for these children to feel big. The competency and courage that I see grow in these children keep me loving this job and I truly think these 2 C's are what keep these children wanting to come back to the Farm!

I think it's important for us to all keep thinking about other ways for our children to feel this way. What if we don't have a hayloft or a fence to climb? What else is out there to help them feel BIG?